i wonder what’s happening right now over at hogwarts
probably education since harry doesn’t go there anymore
will you still love me when i’m no longer young and
"no" is too serious
"nope" is too casual
"nah" is just right
"Did you kill this man?" "Nah"
MY BIRD IS SITTING IN THE TOP CORNER OF HER CAGE CALLING MY DOG’S NAME AND ASKING IF HE WANTS A TREAT AND IF HE WANTS TO GO TO OUTSIDE AND HE’S TOO STUPID TO REALIZE IT’S HER SO EVERYTIME SHE SAYS SOMETHING HE LOOKS AT ME LIKE
SHE LAUGHS EVERYTIME TOO AND NOW HE’S JUMPING ON ME AND BARKING AND GETTING MAD AT ME LIKE OLIVER TURN AROUND AND LOOK IN THAT HUGE ASS CAGE AND BEG HER FOR A FUCKING TREAT OR SOMETHING.
your bird is an asshole
do you ever shave your legs but later you realise you missed a spot and its like
on a scale of 1 to done
My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.
The guy said sure.
So we decided to leave a nice little note
and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!
the pizza guy spelled domino’s wrong